Letting Go
by Jazmingirl
Summary: He had to let go, for Danny he had to let go...  Slash McDanno
1. Chapter 1

Title: Letting Go

Author Notes: Hi I have this in my head so I´m writing it

Thanks to my beta Jerseybelle for her help.

Song by Donovan

Steve felt lonely today. He was sitting on his lanai with a beer while Danny was on a date with doctor Ansario, and that saddened Steve because he was in love with his partner.

He had discovered his feelings while he had been in jail. He loved Danny and it killed him to send Danny away and it thrilled him when Danny didn´t leave, but instead stayed to help him.

Steve had known that day that he was in love with his partner. But Steve also knew that his very non-gay partner didn´t see him that way. Even when he could feel Danny´s eyes on him, he knew that was just his Danno being nice.

Steve knew that only friendship would join him to Danny and that had to be enough. At least that's what he told himself every morning before Danny came looking for him and it usually helped, but today, after this case, his walls were crumbling and he couldn´t fight the sadness.

"_**In the chilly hours and minutes,**_

_**Of uncertainty, I want to be,**_

_**In the warm hold of your loving mind.**_

_**To feel you all around me,**_

_**And to take your hand, along the sand,**_

_**Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind..."**_

Steve was watching the waves of his beloved beach. The water calmed him and brought him a sense of peace. He closed his eyes and let a tear fall; he knew his heart was breaking; he understood that once again he had to resign his feelings for Danny. He had to let go of the love, the yearning to be Danny´s lover, the hope he had to let go everything. He had to shut down this new emotion or he risked loosing Danny´s friendship and that was something he couldn´t allow himself to lose. If he did, he knew it would kill him.

So Steve let the tears fall. He walked down to the beach and went into the water where he could let go. Among the waves he let go of everything he had inside. He swam until his body ached, but his heart was guarded again. He let the feelings drown in the water. He let himself let go of the hope.

Steve swam until he found the peace that he so desperately craved. Steve had started to let go of the feelings in order to keep Danny in his life.

Steve didn´t want this, he wanted to hold onto this feeling, but he couldn´t. In the end, it would only be more painful and he couldn´t take that, he couldn´t take more pain, and knowing that Danno could never love him was to much pain.

"_**When sundown pales the sky,**_

_**I wanna hide a while, behind your smile,**_

_**And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.**_

_**For me to love you now,**_

_**Would be the sweetest thing, 'twould make me sing,**_

_**Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind..."**_

When the rain started falling and he could barely move, Steve went inside and got dry clothes and a cup of coffee. He was still hurting but he knew that he could never tell Danny what he felt and risk losing him for good. His partner deserved a good friend, he deserved for Steve to be there for him, cheering him, not ruining Danny's life by confessing feelings that Steve convince himself Danno didn´t share.

It was time for Danny to be happy and Steve was going to make sure that happened.

"_**When rain has hung the leaves with tears,**_

_**I want you near, to kill my fears**_

_**To help me to leave all my blues behind.**_

_**For standin' in your heart,**_

_**Is where I want to be, and I long to be,**_

_**Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind..."**_

Steve was so tired that he was finally able to sleep. He had taken the first step and while he was broken, Danno would never know. Danno would be happy. _That_ was his mission.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Danno Realises

Author Notes: hi this is the second part of the story, one more chapter to go.

Big Thanks to my wonderful beta Jerseybelle

Song by Rascal Flats

Danno was talking with his date, and everything was good except for the fact that he was bored, she was nice and all but she didn´t make him feel anything.

When she smiled at him it was cute but it wasn´t the right smile, it didn´t light up the room, it didn´t make him weak in the knees.

When her eyes shone with laugther they were the wrong eyes, they were light brown not blue-grey like the ones he loved. But wait a minute, who has the blue-grey eyes that when shone drove Danny crazy with joy and desire?

"_**The world starts to spin again; you learn things you didn't know then**_

_**Feels like the bloom is off the rose**_

_**But you weather a few storms and you pull out a few thorns**_

_**And together the garden grows and grows..."**_

Steve had blue-grey eyes; Steve had the killer smile that made him weak in the knees. Danno knew at that moment why it would never work between the nice doctor and him. She wasn´t Steve. He had fallen in love with his crazy partner.

It was Steve, the one who should be here with him, not this nice woman.

"_**Every time I get lost in a temperamental mood**_

_**You still stay cool**_

_**Just when I think that this life's about to drive me insane**_

_**You take the reins**_

_**Every time I feel I'm drifting off course**_

_**You're my compass; you're my one true north**_

_**In a mixed up world**_

_**You make sense to me..."**_

Danno realized that he was in love with Steve, and while his date talked about he didn´t know what, he started seeing the signs there. How could he be that stupid and not realise sooner? Steve knew? Does he feel the same about Danny? He wasn´t sure, but he was glad that he hadn´t told him about this date, because he didn´t want to ruin his chances.

And here, I called myself a detective, wow. I love that freaking SEAL, and it doesn´t bother me. He's the most important person in my life alongside Grace. He´s been there for me when I needed him, he´s a part of my Ohana, a part of me.

After thinking about it, he knew Steve felt the same for him. How couldn´t he know? Danno now saw every look, every innocent touch, every word with other eyes and came to the conclusion that Steve loved him.

"_He loves me!" _Steven J. McGarrett loved him and that wasn´t something you heard everyday, and it filled him with joy because now he could tell Steve that he loved him back.

When Monday came he had hope in his chest and was happy, now he knew that what he wanted, he was going to get. They, of course, had a case, and he was happy to see that he was going to be with Steve all morning. That is until the SEAL changed everything.

"_Danny ,you go with Lori and interview the witness, Chin ,you and Kono go see your informants and see what´s in the air."_

"_But, Steve, what´re you going to do?"_

"_I´m going to talk to the victim´s son and see if he remembers anything."_

"_Don´t you want me to go with you?" _and I was hoping to see his eyes light up like they always did around me, but that wasn´t the case. When he looked at me his eyes were full of something I couldn´t identify.

"_No, Danny, you go with Lori,"_he saidand left, leaving me stunned, like the rest of the Ohana.

Lori Weston was the one to clear things for me.

"_He´s letting you go."_

"_What?"_

"_Steve, he´s letting you go, I can see it in his eyes."_

"_You don´t know what the hell you´re talking about."_

"_I know that when I met you he would never allow anyone to go with you to interview someone. He was in love with you, but I think you convinced him with your date last night that you´re not interested in him. So, because you were there for him, he´s trying to be there for you as a friend so he´s letting his feelings for you die. I can see it, his eyes don´t shine, he´s letting you go."_

"_You´re wrong because he didn´t, he didn´t know about my date," _ I told her trying to convince her, because what she said couldn´t be true, but Kono broke my hope bubble.

"_The boss knew, brah, I told him about your date."_

"_WHATTTT?"_

"_I´m sorry."_

"_No."_ Steve couldn´t have given up on me, he couldn´t have. I went with Lori, but I was in a state of shock. But with the firm decision to set thing clear; Steven James McGarrett and I weren´t finished, not by a long shot.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Following Orders

Author notes: this is the final, I hope you like this

Big thanks to all of you who stayed with me during this series.

Gigantic thanks to my wonderful beta Jerseybelle for her amazing help.

"_**There´s some things we**_

_**don´t talk about**_

_**rather do without**_

_**and just hold the smile**_

_**falling in and out of love**_

_**ashamed and proud of**_

_**together all the while..."**_

_**The Fray**_

Danny knew:, he was aware of the change. Steve had withdrawn from him, he didn´t smile that smile reserved only for Danny. Steve had changed and it was killing him.

Danny could tell that it was eating the goof's soul to let him go but as usual, what Steve wanted to happen, did.

Danny couldn´t figure a way to let the SEAL know that he felt the same way, because Danny was scared, too. Danny was afraid to put his heart out and get burned again. Rachel had done a real number on him, and a part of him would always resent her for it.

Grace, his amazing Monkey, sensed that something wasn´t right with them and she told Danny that he needed to help Uncle Steve. He had asked her what she meant, was stunned into silence with her answer.

"_Because, Danno, you broke his heart, so now you have to fix it."_

"_Monkey..."_

"_No, Danno, you didn´t see Uncle Steve´s heart and you went with the doctor lady and you hurt Uncle Steve and yeah he didn´t say anything, but Danno, Uncle Steve doesn´t know how to ,talk about his feelings, that´s you, so now you fix it."_

His Monkey , his baby, had made it very clear that he was the one that needed to fix this and she had made her choice perfectly clear, too. The doctor lady didn´t stand a chance against Uncle Steve_. _How didshe know about their feelings? Danny didn´t know, but he knew that she was right.

The rest of the Ohana was behind him; they told him that they would back them up if anyone came after them. But still Danny didn´t speak out, something pull him back; his fear made him silent, too.

"_**You can never say never**_

_**why we don´t know when**_

_**time and time again**_

_**younger now than we were before..."**_

Something was wrong, Danny and everyone knew it. Steve and the Governor were in a meeting with a member of the Navy and it was sending waves of panic through Danny´s heart.

Steve couldn´t be deployed, he just couldn´t.

Chin and Kono stopped pretending to work and came to his office to have a better picture of what was going on.

When the three men came out of the office, Danny knew something was different. Steve didn´t look like he wanted to kill them, and what he said to the men sent more panic into Danny.

"_I´ll think about it."_

"I´ll think about it", "I´ll think about it", "I´ll think about it"; those words haunted Danny´s dreams. Danny, Chin and Kono knew Steve had something up his sleeves and that scared him because it seems that they weren´t included. Steve wasn´t including them and he wasn´t including Danny.

Danny sent Chin to look for information and what Chin brough him wasn´t good news.

"_They want the boss to head a unit like this, but with the Navy's collaboration, in California."_

He can´t go, those words were alongside, no, not alongside, they were the first thing Danny said. No, Steve couldn´t leave him, Steve wouldn't leave him.

"_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go..." **_

The next few day were spent in a blur. Danny was unable to work, he keep seeing Steve and thinking, _"Will he tell us or will he leave without a word? Is this our last case together?" _

Danny spent hours thinking like this.

"_**Picture you´re the**_

_**queen of everything**_

_**as far as the eye can see**_

_**under your command**_

_**I will be your guardian**_

_**when all is crumbling**_

_**steady your hand**_

_**You can never say never**_

_**why we don´t know when**_

_**time, time and time again**_

_**younger now then we were before..."**_

One morning Steve didn´t come to work and Danny lost it, Steve had left without a word. He called the Governor and in a very bad tone, because this man had allowed Steve to leave, asked him where McGarrett was. The Governor had told him the Commander´s location and when Danny found out that he was at the Naval Base, he almost lose it again.

He grabbed his things and he wasn´t even out the door when Chin called to him.

"_Bring him back, Danny."_

"_I will."_

"_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go..." **_

Danny drove like he's seen Steve do many times. Danny was out of his mind, Steve wasn´t leaving the Island without knowing his feelings.

"_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**We're pulling apart**_

_**and coming together**_

_**again and again**_

_**We're growing apart**_

_**but we pull it**_

_**together, pull it**_

_**together, together again..."**_

Steve was talking with the Base CO; he was at peace for the very first time in the months since he had made the decision to let Danny go.

This opportunity was , he had to leave his home but then again he was a sailor, he had done this as long as he could remember. He had told the Governor that Danny was more than capable to lead 5-0 and was pretty proud when the Governor told him that he didn´t want to lose Steve; that his work helped a lot. He offered him better terms if he stayed, but Steve couldn´t, he just couldn't. He had to leave. He didn´t have it in him to stay and maybe see Danny marrying again; he wasn´t that strong. He was about to sign his contract when the hurricane that changed his life came barreling in again.

Danny was all flushed, his breathing was labored. Steve knew that Danny was in major rant mode.

"_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go**_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go **_

_**Don´t let me go..." **_

"_How many yards does this place have? A thousand? You stupid, insensitive animal. Really, you´re leaving without saying a word? What were you thinking? What a stupid question; YOU DON´T THINK. How could you accept an offer to leave us, to leave me? Don´t you care about us? About your Ohana? Tell me, McGarrett, I´m waiting for your great explanation of why you´re leaving me, leaving Gracie, behind."_

"_Danny, it's better for all if I´m not here." _

Wrong thing to say.

"_BETTER? BETTER FOR WHOM? STEVEN JAMES McGARRETT, YOU BETTER START EXPLAINING WHO WOULD BE BETTER OFF IF YOU AREN´T AROUND, OTHER THAN THE CRIMINALS, BECAUSE OUR OHANA IS IN PAIN. MY DAUGTHER IS IN PAIN, AND LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ME, YOU STUPD ASSHOLE. I´M IN LOVE WITH YOU, SO HOW DOES YOUR FREAK MIND THINKS THAT I´M FEELING RIGTH NOW?"_

Danny was panting, his pale face almost burgundy red and his eyes were flashing, but Steve caught the last part.

"_You...You love me?" he _asked, almost in a whisper.

"_Of course I love you, you stupid ninja-freak of a SEAL. I´m in love with you, so you can´t leave, you understand that, because you belong to me and Grace and we shared you with our Ohana but otherwise you´re ours, mine, and I never will allow you to leave us so you better resign your position so we can leave this place, so, A: you can kiss me with every bit of passion that you have and B: you come with me with to the office and talk with the Governor and get your job back. Then we'll go to the Palace and you´ll apologize to Chin and Kono for thinking of leaving them and then we´re going home and you will call Grace and tell her that you forgive me and we´re as in love as two heroes can be and then I´ll show you how much I love you and then we will live happily ever after. Understood?"_

Steve looked at Danny and saw the raw emotions there, love, lust, frienship, and fear, fear that Steve would leave him, and Steve made his decision.

"_Understood, Danno. Understood." _Steve said before following him out; after all, who was Steve to go against Danny´s orders?

The End


End file.
